May 7th – Waiting, creating and letting go.

Dear Queens and Kings,

It’s been a long time beautiful people and I have so much to tell you. You know the drill grab a ginger beer and get comfy.

Waiting….

The truth is that I had to wait to post because of so many reasons, I mean I could have posted for postings sake and gave you guys posts upon posts of rubbish or I could have waited and gave you something worth reading.

Another reason that I was waiting to post was because I had writers block something that I just couldn’t kick, I knew what I wanted to write about but to be honest I had no idea how to start it.

The last reason is that I NEEDED a break and you may be thinking but Tisha, you had a break! and to answer you I had a break but that break was spent catching up with uni work and this break was partly spent catching up but also finishing the first draft of my BOOK! Yes, you read it properly I have written a book. Writing a book is a personal dream of mine that has been in the pipelines for the past 2/3years but there will be more about that in the following weeks.

Creating….

The process of writing a book is exciting, tiring, fulfilling, emptying, empowering, condemning and like that breath you take when you emerge from the water when swimming. I spent hours writing, editing and deleting content, I had to search through old journals of mine and literally inspire myself and the most hard part of all was reliving all the experience that were ones I had totally forgotten about because of the pain they caused me.

The reliving of the pain also made me very uninspired and it was not until coming to the end of finishing my book that my flame for writing was relit; THE PIA TOUR. To those of you that don’t know what the Pia tour is… I am truly disappointed in you, instead of me FANGIRLING click here to watch he promo vid for the Pia tour.

The Pia tour is a poetry concert/theatrical performance by Ezekiel Azonwu, Janette…Ikz, Preston Perry and Jackie Hill-Perry. It was amazing and woke me up to the work I still had to do.

Creating this book was a process that turned me fearful because suddenly I was writing about my faith and myself in an unapologetic authentic way. I was taking the very things that make me and putting them on a platform that means that people will see right through me and it simply meant that I became vulnerable. Being vulnerable was a state that I hated wholeheartedly but now, vulnerability means power, growth, humility, testimony, truth and it means letting go of promises made by the enemy within.

Letting go…  

Wanting to let go of doubtful voices from within and outside means that I was/am being led by faith and faith alone. Faith that God will send the holy spirit to make me bold and confident in the work that I do to bring people into Gods fatherly arms. Letting go gave me focus and purpose and meant that I had a lot more energy to spend living out my God given purpose.

It also meant that I got to set 3 goals for April/March:

  1. Make my body clock wake me up at 6.30am.
  2. Sort my eating out; fast food, high sugars and stupid amounts of meat were literally feeding my cysts (check out my last post for more info about my cysts).    
  3. Work my butt off.

Body clock = 6.30am

For why?!?! because my brain goes overtime constantly, I made a plan that meant If utilised my week days more I would not feel exhausted when it came to the weekend. This theory of mine actually worked and now (even though I’ve just finished catching up) means that i’m up to date with my what was once LONG to-do-list and I don’t feel as if I have no time to myself anymore. I mean Yes the majority of my time is taken up with #itshermelanin, my masters degree and work but I am happy with those choices.

Sorting out my eating!

I don’t know if you guys know this but I LOVE FOOD! No, I mean I literally used to idolise food, so much so that it was making my body unwell (feeding my cysts). Now making false idols of anything is totally stupid and I’ve changed my diet by dulling my taste buds; no I’m not going to tell you exactly how because I am a student Dramatherapist and writer not a doctor or nutritionist. What I did/currently doing is well researched and is working for my body type, I will give you a hint I am leaning towards a more natural way of eating.

Working hard!!

This one took a lot of self reflection, advice from mentors and talks with my mom. It killed me because as far as I was concerned I was working to my limit but my mom knew I could give it a bit more. This is not to say she didn’t appreciate how much I had worked but that she believed in my capabilities If I just pushed myself a little more.

The greatest pieces of advice that I got was:

  1. Don’t work for someone else all day and not work on your dreams, give your dreams at least an hour of your time each day.
  2. Be your biggest critic but don’t be a perfectionist, your work is your work be proud that you made it.
  3. Set your own standard and make your own way of doing ‘it’ what ever ‘it’ is.
  4. Be prepared to get disheartened, for people not to like every think you do and for some people to just not get it.
  5. Have a plan and set achievable goals.
  6. At those times you think ‘you can’t do it’ BELIVE that God can.

Until next time you beautiful people,

peace and love

TishaJayyy xxx

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But God…

Dear Queens and Kings,

As promised there is a new season here at #itshermelanin and Yes it’s April fools but no this not a joke! This is for real, #itshermelanin is coming at you with a new season of content, hopefully encouraging you to have positive mental health and doing so by the grace of God.

Check out the video below, I present But God…..

Thank you God, peace and love TishaJayy xxx

Catharsis

Hey queens and kings!!

I’m so sorry for not posting last week but as some of you may already know I was in hospital, I can hear the sympathy crying now thanks you lovely lot. I was in two minds as to whether I should let you guys in on what’s going on with my health and not because I’m trying to be all stush and mysterious but because of the image I wanted to portray for #itshermelanin. As you may also know I want #itshermelanin to be a place that promotes a positive mental health community for women and girls of colour due to the stigma surrounding us when facing mental health issues that people of a different colour/ethnicity would be less likely to face. So I thought sharing something that could upset you or bring you down would bring more harm than good but then I thought of three things:

  1. Authenticity: I  want the voice of #itshermelanin to be as authentic and truthful as possible, I want you guys to view me as a sister.
  2. Catharsis: within the Dramatherapy discipline catharsis means to release a strong emotions and has the potential to be transformative.
  3. Testimony: when testimonies are done in a religious setting the purpose is to inspire others with the sharing of your experience, with the hopes that your vulnerability serves as a comforting arm for others that may be in a similar situation to you.

What do all of these have in common?

Authenticity, catharsis and testimony have a few things in common:

  • The acceptance of self – the chance for you to face something that you may have not been able to face before hand.
  • The acceptance of love – I still believe in the power of love and I don’t mean the type of love that people give to receive but I mean that unconditional love.
  • The acceptance of others – whether you like it or not, you doing one of these three things will make you a magnet to people who simply want to help or who simply need someone talk to, embrace them with an open mind.
  • Shame – this ones a tough one, no matter how much you DGAF (the F stands for fudge clearly) shame is an experience we all try to avoid so hard, letting go and let the shame flow it helps yo!
  • Loss – this one is slightly bitter sweet; you could loose a great deal and sometimes this hurts but with every great loss there is an even greater gain.
  • The chance to learn and grow – if you don’t to learn and grow this blog is not for you baby.

But don’t just take me word for it, here comes the catharsis of an authentic testimony (see what I did there, I know you don’t have to say it…I’m a genius HA!)

Why I was in hospital… 

I can hear the noses of the preeing ones twitching ahaha… Okay let me be serious. For those of you that can’t handle the grown discussion of a woman’s reproductive system I would advise you to finish here and for those of you that may be triggered when it comes to hospital visits, crazy emotions and blood I would also stop here.

Okay so now you’re all comfortable and ready to let me purge, come leh we do dis (patios). It all started in January I started to get stomach pains, irregular bleeding (yup I am talking about periods, deal with it!) and increased headaches. It then happened again in February and so I went to my doctors and he referred me to have a scan at the hospital before the scan could even come through the post, the pain became unbearable and to cut a long story short I was admitted into hospital. After the most painful and confusing weekend I had in my short 22 years of living it turns out that I have cysts on my ovaries (the mad crazy pain was one bursting), to write about it now still makes me uneasy and I can’t help but think about the 101 questions running through my mind constantly. Will this affect my fertility? What happens when I get the really bad pain again? Will this affect my fertility? Will my doctor give me a follow up appointment? Will this affect my fertility?

You see the pattern? My main concern was will I still be able to have kids? I do not have definite answer and I can only say ‘I think so’. I then also I about my God and how he has a plan for me regardless how my body want to try and play me, I also thought about my God kids, I thought about the endless amount of children in care (I’ve always wanted to adopt, so I felt like this was a confirmation for that) and I also just think about the NOW. Our tomorrows are not promised and so when we are constantly thinking about the future we fail to see the beauty of our NOW experiences. These statements have brought me to a road that I wouldn’t have been on if this happened two years ago, if this happened two years ago I would have turned to other means of coping but in all honesty my faith was a saving grace for me.

Just a quick update on how I’m feeling now greatful, it could have been so much worse and I’ve started to feel even more intentional. I’m just enjoying every journey God brings me on after all every mess has the chance to transform into a blesseing. My God, My god!!

P.s my symptoms are MY symptoms, if you’re worried because you’re experiencing the same go and see your doctor and be greatful. If you feel ready feel free to share your story with the #itshermelanin family or you can direct message me on instagram.

Peace and love

Tisha Jayy xxx

 

 

Balance

Hey queens and kings,

The irony of this post is quite funny, why you ask? Well as you know from my very first post, I have planned all of these blog posts in advance so every week I know what I’m writing about. Right now, as touched upon in last weeks post things aren’t great! So I’m here thinking how am I meant to give advice on how balanced I am when I’ve never been so unbalanced in my life! but queens and kings I’ve got something for you, so grab your gingerbeer and get comfy.

Full circle

As well as all the stress from university and placement, I am also having to search myself. Now, normally I would just have pretended I’d gone deeper into the experiences that have made me (whether it be painful experiences, amazing memories or inspiring situations) and then bury the difficult emotions that may come up as a result. This would create a false illusion in my head that I had dealt with those difficult emotions up until those emotions started to arise again, thus the whole ‘full circle’ heading. Yes I have written some great posts on things to do to keep shalom but I realised today that none of my post actually talk about admitting, facing and exploring difficult emotions (something that Dramatherapy helps with). None of my posts really talk about what fellowship/having that group of friends or one friend that you can spill all to actually does in regards to staying balance (something that my faith has taught me).

If I’m loosing you let me use myself as an example (no you will not be hearing some juicy TishaJayy gossip, umm hmm I see you). I thought I felt more comfortable alone, when in actual fact it’s just a safety net, I also thought that If I didn’t let myself get close to anyone or admit my mistakes to those closest to me it would protect me from being hurt and I also thought that opening up about the rubbishy times would burden the ones I cared about most (all this sound familiar?). Something that also fooled me into feeling ‘comfortable’ with being alone was the fear of being judged (trust me, I consciously thought I didn’t care but when I let my unconscious surface it was staring me on the face). All of this created metaphorical suitcases of emotions and fears I had been carrying around with me and filling up for years, I literally had chains that I didn’t know existed stunting my growth as a woman.

This all meant that I wasn’t able to be the authentic me; I read somewhere that a person has three masks: mask one is how they want the world to see them, mask two is how they want family and friends to see them and mask three is how they are when totally alone. I believe that our true authentic selves is a distorted mixture of all three, character traits or images we aspire to be, values we want to live by and vulnerability we want to be able to feel power from.

I had began to be stuck in a rut of feeling emotions I didn’t like because of experiences I didn’t like and sometimes had no control over. I felt them, I distracted myself from them and then unconsciously I buried and held on to them. I let them become a shadow over my life that I could not escape and every so often that would lead to an eruption.

The eruption

Now eruptions, historically meant destruction but for me eruptions can mean change. I would erupt (cry, shout, be ill or isolate myself) and not be able to sit with what I was going through. I would be itching for the eruption to stop and not give myself enough time to face it(historically). As of the past two weeks though, I’ve had some news that have caused a build which led to an eruption, I ignored calls and I went into isolation mode. Something changed, I realised didn’t want to be alone anymore, in fact I needed someone to talk to and I felt like God and therapy were leading me to this catharsis (the process of releasing, and therefore providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions). My friend who is basically my sister reached out to me even though I ignored her calls (I did text her to let her know, I just needed to be alone, she did give me time but clearly she was telling me time was up).

Change

After I ignored her call and didn’t text her all week (don’t judge, we usually talk everyday lol)

Her:Bruh, I’m trying to see If you’re alive and kickin

Me: I’m alive and kicking xx

        Just disconnecting xx

Her: Are you sure you’re kicking?

I’m like sweet baby Jesus why does this girl know me too well, well I was thinking that anyway. That simple text led to me spilling everything and I’m not talking about the things that happened within the last two weeks, I’m talking about the years of ish I had been keeping between God and myself. Bearing in mind this was all through text, I sent it and was like let me hop in this bath real quick and pretend I didn’t just lay out my soul to her. One hundred and one things were running through my head whilst in the bath: will she still be my sis?, Will she even want to talk to me? and I didn’t think all of this because of who she was but because of my own insecurities I had just let her in on. Then after about 30 mins in the bath I thought ‘This girl is going to turn up at my door innit?’*rolling eyes emotion*(low key feeling loved), my pops shouts up to me saying ‘Someone’s here for you’.

Yup, my amazing friend had drove over to see me, to hold space with me. That single notion ‘hold space with me’ is so powerful. I have never told anyone but God about the things I told her and I was so afraid of what that would mean for our friendship/sisterhood. As I reflect, I realise that I was a afraid of one of the very things I want most in the world and that is to be loved regardless of all my flaws.

FIN

So my advice to you on finding balance is my lovely ItsHerMelanin family, find faith in something (for me thats God), find iron that sharpens your iron (friends/family) to confine in and then live authentically. To my girl, who has been my iron from the day I met you, thank you Mo Mo and I only pray that I am/can be the same to you…

Peace and love

TishaJayy xx

My course structure

Hey Queens and kings,

I hope your week has been full of blessings, lessons and hard work. As for me, my week has been ok, basically my body has been failing me but I’m still smiling. You know the drill grab a ginger beer or two, check out last weeks post if you have not already and then come back and join me, as always I will wait.

oh you’re back,  hey boo boo!! so my course structure *currently rolling my eyes* HAHA!

Structure

For many practical reasons but also reasons that don’t make any sense, structure seems to create calm. Structure gives us westerners the illusion of safety and it highlights our dependancy on controlled outcomes. Education seems to have an over riding macro structure but also micro structures that are for different institutions (primary schools, secondary schools, colleges etc). Therapy and faith are exactly the same, even though some might not like to admit it (yup I just threw Le shade).

My course

As most of you know I am a trainee dramatherapist and currently studying on a two year programme. During my first year (now) I have been on four modules; practice studio, theory, placement and experiential. Practice studio is where we take apart and facilitate dramatherapy sessions, theory is where we discuss theoretical standpoints, placement is where we are prepared for the placements we do but later develops into supervision and experiential is where we …..hmmm to be honest it’s a lot of things but in a nutshell it is whatever we make it.

The second year (my next academic year) is a lot more independent and I can only imagine it’s so much more intense. We will have four modules; theories, placement, experiential and Independent scholarship which will serve as a triple module. The Independent scholarship is a huge research project that is for me to research into a subject matter that I am interested in.

Hidden extras

The title sounds a little dodgey but it’s really not meant to LOL. For me, a lot of hidden extras from the course were to do with self reflection and YES I am going to be the black girl who goes there …MONEY! So money, the one thing I hate; I would recommend having a part time job whilst studying for your masters. Especially because we have to pay for our own therapy and fund the course ourselves (if you do not apply for a student loan). Self reflection, this one is probably the biggest, whilst I’m a person who loves to observe and hear the story of others, when it comes to myself I HATE it. During the first three months of doing my masters I faced such ugly parts of myself through self reflection but I also faced parts of myself which I didn’t realise existed but loved once I found them.

The support I got/get when it came/comes to money and how to safely practice self reflection was amazing. Support came from of course the uni lecturers but also other students on the course. Something that surprised me was the support from my family and not because my family support is lacking but because I didn’t think they would get it. Oh boo boo how I was wrong, for some reason the more I progressed on the course, the more I was able to express myself to my family and the better we bonded.

Lack of socialising -so during undergrad 40% of the course was socialising (kinda false), with this postgrad everything changes! You hardly see family let alone friends but if you have ‘iron that sharpen iron’ type of friends then they will understand. The friends you meet on the course almost turn into a weird family that see each other once a week but also know your deepest secrets and flaws. What’s even weirder is how natural it is and I know, I know this could just be unique to my year group and course but hey it happened. Yes we have our ups and downs, yes some people get on better than others do and yes it can be draining but it is 100% worth it.

Graduation

I cannot wait, even though the process is the main part, I still am so eager to get to graduation. It’s like when you’re a kid learning to ride your bike and you want your stabilisers off so you can just GO GO GO! Yeah, that’s how I am feeling.  On that note it’s time for me to finish off an article I am reading but first let me leave you with a verse that has been on my mind all week:

“Be still and know that I am God” – Psalm 46:10

peace and love Queens and kings

TishaJayy xx

My practice

Hey Queens and Kings,

I hope you’re all well and looking after yourselves. You know the drill grab your ginger bear yo and get comfy. Last weeks post was all about the stigma surrounding therapy and if you missed it feel free to go and have a read, don’t worry I will wait for you 🙂

Yass girl, you’re back, so how was the post? not bad? too much? either way I hope you appreciate the grind. Let’s get down to the post!

My practice?!?

So, when I was planning this post (in JAN) I naively thought I’d be soooo clued up as to what my personal practice as a trainee Dramatherapist would be… oh how silly of me to think such wild things aha. One, I have had no clients on my placement as of yet which will be explained in more detail in May, two I’m starting to realise that being a Dramatherapist means that your practice will continuously evolve and three, one minute I KNOW WHAT IM DOING BUT THEN THE NEXT MINUTE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING and I think I’m speaking for most of the people on my course HA! All of this made it incredibly hard to write this post because I’m sitting here thinking I have no content, which made me think hmmm …lets start with the basics:

  1.   How does a session work? Dramatherapy sessions have a basic out line (opening ritual- warm up, games, main content, closing rituals- cool down and reflection or check out).
  2. What does it look like? Dramatherapy sessions can either be on a 1:1 basis or group settings.
  3.  Who is Dramatherapy for? Dramatherapy can be for anyone.

Trial and error in therapy?!?!

You may be thinking ‘Say what now? Tisha how can you afford to make mistakes when talking about someones therapy sessions?!’. To answer your question(s), so that big mistakes are not made during my qualified practice, my course offers multiple chances for us to do facilitations of a dramatherapy sessions; this helps with confidence to explore our practice and simply gives us a chance to learn off of each other. we get to learn basics that will keep the sessions safe and also learn how to support our clients in a professional yet understanding way.

This is a short one!

Yup, guys I’m really about to finish up this post already. This weeks post has been so hard but I guess this is apart of the process and I promised to let you in on all aspects. I’ve not had much practice out on placement because we have to sort out the young adults time tabling and apparently a month is not enough time to do so. Can you hear the hint of frustration!? Like I mentioned before there will be more about my placement difficulties in a later post but for now my queens and kings, thank you for reading and see you next week.

Peace and love TishaJayy xx

Stigma Surrounding Dramatherapy

Hey Queens and King,

I hope you are all blessed and ready for a new week, before you read this blog check out last weeks blog here! Great you’re back. You should know the drill by now, grab your ginger beer and lets get to it!

The stigma surrounding Mental health

First of all lets get to grips with the word stigma, I feel like a lot of people throw it out there but don’t actually know what it means. According to dictionary.com it is ‘a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one’s reputation’ and in medical terms ‘mental or physical mark that is characteristic of a defect or disease: eg. the stigmata of leprosy’. So basically stigma means to attach a negative characteristic to something, in our case mental health.

Studying to become a Dramatherapist has made me realise that having a mental health issue is more common than not. Mentalhealth.org.uk tells us that ‘1 in 6 people in the last week experienced a mental health problem’ and yet I hear people close to me and those on social media mock serious mental health issues, they say things like ‘get over it’ or a more common one ‘it’s not that deep’, I even hear people use terms such as ‘you’re depressing’ to describe people. My point is that we need to be made more aware of effects that mental health can have on people across the world and to dismiss someone who is trying to reach out to us can be very harmful.

Some media can intentionally and unintentionally take away the seriousness of mental health issues and they do this by adding humour, over dramatising real life mental health issues or by  making it seem as if people with mental health issues cannot function in western society. People having mental health issue(s) is something that society as a whole needs to be talking about more, we need to be properly educated and we also need to know where we can find resources that will help us.

Stigma surrounding seeking help from professionals

Seeking help from your loved ones, let alone professionals can seem daunting, you may feel as if you will be judged or even laughed at but don’t be ashamed of trying to do something about your mental health issue(s). There are so many trained professional that can help you with, not only your mental health issue but also help you with asking your family for support. Shade throwers, I can hear you saying ‘bruhh why so serious?’ but I cannot explain enough how important positive tools are in helping you to explore your mental health, these are key ingredients are paramount to aiding the management of a 21st century lifestyle. If you have not yet got any help or just need something to get you through the gap inbetween therapy sessions here are some tools that I thought of last year (journaling, staying in shalom and making a mood board). At the end of this post I will add some links that are 24 hour help lines.

Believing stigma

As well as not understanding how powerfully our mental health can effect our lives, we do not understand the power of BELIEVING stigma. Believing stigmas attached to mental health can lead to years of unnecessary isolation, fear and torture. I don’t know who this post is for but as mentioned before there are trained professionals who are just as passionate as me when it comes to killing the stigma surrounding mental health.

What next TishaJayy?

So, queens and kings I have briefly and I mean briefly discussed the STIGMA surrounding mental health and I hope this has sparked something in you that is forward thinking when it comes to the positive management of mental health. For those of you that believe they have mental health issues I would strongly recommend that you go and see your local GP. If this is a little difficult I would suggest you go through a helpline (UK):

1. The Samaritans offer emotional support 24 hours a day – in full confidence.

  • Call 116 123 – it’s FREE

Or email jo@samaritans.org.uk

2. You can call the Rethink advice and information line Monday to Friday, 10am-2pm for practical advice on:

  • different types of therapy and medication
  • benefits, debt, money issues
  • police, courts, prison
  • your rights under the Mental Health Act.

Call Rethink on 0300 5000 927 (calls are charged at your local rate).

3. The Mind infoline

Mind offer an information line to answer questions about:

  • types of mental health problem
  • where to get help
  • drug and alternative treatments
  • advocacy.

Call the Mind infoline on 0300 123 3393 (UK landline calls are charged at local rates, and charges from mobile phones will vary considerably). Or email info@mind.org.uk.

Finally, Queens and kings I really do hope this helps you in some way no matter how small or big, peace and love TishaJayy xx

For more info: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

Faith vs Therapy

Hey Queens and Kings,

First of all, if you have not caught my first post then I suggest you click here and read on baby!  Don’t ignore me now, go ahead I will wait for you…promise.

Oh you’re back…hey there hope you liked it and if you already read last weeks post, you be winning! Make sure you’ve grabbed your ginger bear this ones going to be good…

Faith

No matter what religion you belong to, no matter what way of life you adhere to and no matter what your opinions are on either subject, lets all agree that we all have faith in something. It could be in God, it could be in yourself or it could even be the faith you put in the people you care about most. Shade throwers don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about because you do, if you like let me just give you an example: you like food right? and you have faith that food will sustain you ? Okay now the shade throwers are on board let me carry on.

Personally my faith lies in a lot of things but ultimately, my faith is in my relationship with God; yes for those who don’t believe in God it may sound completely stupid and delusional but it’s my life, let me live yo! Not all the time but most of the time my faith in God as my refuge, provider and pops allows my stress and anxiety to be reduced a hell of a lot and also helps me to be bold, humble and happy with being a christian. The more I pray (talk to God) the more my faith in him grows and the more I have faith in God the more I WANT pray to him. Now WANT is the key word here, even though I see physical results from faith and prayer (getting an amazing placement at the last minute and my family coming through hard REALLY HARD times to say the least), the main reason I pray before I leave my bed everyday and have two praise sessions on my way to and from work, placement or uni is because I genuinely WANT a relationship with my pops. Let me quickly give you a testimony just in case you didn’t know I’m black, I’m also on social media, I have known and gotten used to death from a very young age and I’m a christian. The amount of rubbish I see on a daily basis from racist whether it be on an ignorantly micro level (institutional – in a lot of institutionalised groups I am still, in 2017, the minority and I’m talking the only black person) or at a macro level (seeing police officers unlawfully stop and search people I Know, being verbally racially attacked, to seeing other black people being killed and tortured for no other reason than having the very skin colour I do), If I did not have my faith I would not be the strong mentally, physically and emotionally black woman I am today.

So, when I previously said jokingly, let me live yo! In reference to my faith, for me it’s a lot more serious, If didn’t have my face I would still be doing things that are not me, I would still have a low opinion of myself as a black person and as a woman and I also believe ‘ItsHerMelanin’ would not have been born. So, to me my faith in God is my core and what keeps me, unapologetically me!

P.s before you let your preconceived notions of christians that have done you wrong cloud your judgment of me, get to know me.

You may need another can of ginger beer by now…

Therapy

I feel like this one will be even harder, a lot of people hear the word of therapy and quickly reply with ‘there’s nothing wrong with me, I don’t need that’ or when there is something that stereotypically seems like therapy ‘gold’, people will say ‘what happens in my house stays in my house’. Both statements are ones that can be so damaging to personal growth. Don’t get me stared on when people hear the term ‘Dramatherapy’ they automatically create an image of a group of misfits being misfitty (shade throwers, I create words so hush) or they look at you blankly and you can just hear them thinking ‘What the heck is that?!’

Dramatherapy (when done properly) is a safe and contained exploration of anything from emotions, everyday situations, traumatic experiences and relationships using drama techniques and It can be done on a 1:1 basis or within a group. Now as a part of my course I have to be in therapy which I was really excited about and still am excited about. Therapy has become something that I have faith in, yes faith, because it helps me be active in evolving into who I am mean to be. It helps me to reflect on myself, accept who I am and appreciate the process, don’t get me wrong it can be hard and evoke emotions that may be painful but it is worth it. There are so many different types therapies out there but to name a few there is of course Dramatherapy, artstherapy, musictherapy and dancetherapy, these are all creative arts therapies as they use other mediums in sessions and are not restricting by only using talking strategies which some people may prefer (though talking therapies can be very beneficial for some people, it just depends on what you as an individual prefer).

But Tisha which do you prefer? c’mon dish the dirt!

Now I know you will either be for one or the other, but for me it’s a lot more complex than that, I can see you all rolling your eyes because you know what’s coming…. which one wins for you Tisha therapy or faith? To put it plainly my faith is apart of my therapy and Dramatherapy has allowed me to mature in my faith. Obviously nothing comes before my faith in God but therapy is also major in what works for me. If it was not for Dramatherapy, among other things I would not still be going to church, in fact I don’t think I would have lasted this long on my course if it wasn’t for my faith in GOD. In short they are both ingredients in my infinity.

What happens when faith runs low and therapy is jarring? 

This part of the blog is easy, In regards to faith I have a whole family that I can turn to (family, church people and friends) and these aren’t people who are just going to tell me that my faith is low because I’m in secret sin or that It’s a spiritual attack so get over it. These are people that have been placed in my life to listen not answer but to understand, people that won’t leave me to deal with my burdens alone and people who have grown into my family. I also have go to bible versus in my phone and one or two motivational posters, I listen to Gospel music and I also remember what God has brought me through so far. So, when Dramatherapy is jarring or feels like ‘too much’ I simply give it to God, point blank hahaaa! which means I pray it out, cry it out, scream it out or simply write it out.

I really hope this blog post helps at least one of you reading, please share it and don’t hesitate to contact me on twitter, instagram or privately via email (itshermelanin@outlook.com), see you next week Queens and Kings…

Peace and love TishaJayy xxx

If you would like more info:

Dramatherapy

Faith

DISCLAIMER: opinions expressed are of the content creator and are not intended to offend, convert or trigger.

What it do 2017?

Hey my beautiful Queens and kings,

What it do?! How’s your 2017 going so far? Not enjoying the gloomy January we’ve just had? (UK) Welp, Me neither! I don’t know about you but I’ve decided not to start my 2017 until February! but before we get into all that I’m going to answer the question that I know some of you shade throwers are asking…

Why has she called this blog post ‘Episode’? Grab some ginger beer and I will tell you. An episode is ‘an incident in the course of a series of events, in a person’s life or experience’, this means that each one of these blog posts or episodes are going to be an event, an experience from my life as a student Drama therapist and born again christian, got it? cool. Now that thats over with let’s start on why I’ve postponed my 2017…

After taste…

To me, January always feels like the after taste of the previous year, why you ask? well keep sipping that ginger beer and get comfy. So imagine you just had a double cheese burger, tastes good right? you added ketchup and took out the pickles so you know it’s lit! Now imagine the burp and don’t pretend you’re too nice to know what I’m talking about. Now imagine the extra pounds you put on and now I want you to imagine if you did not have that burger! No nasty burp and no extra pounds! well in December I’m always rushing around, always stressing and forever eating and eating and EATING!!! This makes my January lazy, burdensome and to put it bluntly dead, so to get over all of those feelings I use January as the time to revitalise myself; I set goals for the year, sort out any loose ends and realign my relationship with God (the last one is new).This means that by mid January I’m ready for my year and more importantly excited to spring board into the new year! Maybe next year you should give it a try.

Looking back…  

2016 was a roller coaster, actually compared to my 2015 it was literally a God send. I got baptized, I started my journey as a Drama therapist and also re-found myself. The re-finding myself is constantly a working progress as everyday I change and evolve but now it’s met with happiness rather than fear. Don’t get me wrong I’ve made a lot of mistakes in 2016 but I’m cool with the mistakes after all I’m a working progress. Hold up I’m going to grab my journal and see how far I’ve come….

Okay I’m back …I don’t usually say this but OMG! Y’all ain’t reading this isshh but let me tell you it’s juicy HA! Shade throwers its not that type of juicy but still juicy. Things that I will share with you are:

  1. I have literally filtered out all of the people who either I was toxic with (arguments and all that good stuff) or the people who have the ‘potential’ to be great but had toxic behaviours… oh the irony.
  2. My opinions on marriage, sex and identity have drastically changed, if you just cringed at the fact that I dared to mention sex on this blog, it ain’t for you bruh!
  3. I’m actually learning to sit with the emotions and experiences I go through (positive or negative) rather than be uncomfortable with them.
  4. My 22nd year of my life that I’m in… is the year of fine tuning.

Looking forward…

I’ve decided that 2017 is my year to level-up, do you remember when you’d face the bad guy in Mario? yeah well each year until I’m 30 I promise to level-up to the next baddie and start a new project for ‘It’sHerMelanin’…My goals:

  1. Build relationships –  with God, God-babbies, family, friends who are practically family and future hubby (where art thou?)
  2. Excel- ItsHerMelanin( you my legacy), fitness and don’t ask who I want to look good for? because my answer will be Tisha der! P.s I’m Tisha.
  3. Travel – this year I want to go Amsterdam and Paris for sure and if that means solo travel then so be it! I also want a big holiday in the sumer after my birthday so God willing.

There’s one more but I’m not about to boast and make a false idol of something, so watch this space yo!

No part time ting!

You shade throwers will be rolling your eyes and flicking that 18inch brazillian like ‘whatever girl’ but nah I’ve promised God and myself that I will level up! So there is no going back for me, plus I got one life on this earth and I need to take advantage of it!

Your turn…

Set your goals,  be happy and enjoy the journey, let’s level-up this 2017 together.

peace and love Tisha Jayy xx