So, it’s a gloomy Saturday morning and I’m sat in bed trying to figure out what to blog about. I’ve had writers block or should I say bloggers block for about two weeks now and it’s because I have so much to tell you warriors but I have no idea where to start. See my brain is constantly on 110.5% percent, this unfortunately means that I can become counterproductive because I’m trying to be productive. So, a way that I’ve cleared my mind is to stick to the less frequent micro blogging on #itshermelanin instagram and by journaling (journaling is sometimes better than fried plantain, yup that sweet HA!). So this blog post might be a little all over the place but bare with me and you know the drill grab your ginger beer and enjoy.
First things first…
Let’s give our re-union a little bit of context, no I’m not being extra this is our lil re-union I feel like I’ve not blogged in 20-30 years and where meeting in our primary school hall having a chat about our lives whilst secretly hoping someone else confesses how much they’ve been struggling too. Okay, okay stop rolling your eyes maybe I am being a little dramatic and making something out of nothing but I’ve missed you warriors.
Okay, let me actually start. So, I have completed my first year in my master degree in Dramatherapy. Phew, that was probably the single most stressful year in my life I can hear you saying “one little course bruk she suh” which translates as “can’t she handle on little course” but I kid you not been easy. I really want to share more on that but from a professional point of view it’s unethical or child antics so I will just leave my letter of recommendations to do the talking. Another thing I have written a book, now if you’re a warrior you should already know this but if you’re a new warrior then YUP WE HAVE A BOOK! #itshermelanin THE BOOK is now available on amazon or you can just click here. From the book and previous networking in the fabulously transformative theatre world I have been given an amazing opportunity with curve theatre eeek! But more on that a little later in the year. Finally the juice, the big pitch, the meat HAAH
I finally went on vacation or holiday as us Brits like to call it. I went away with my mom and it was totally opposite to a normal holiday because 2017 had wore us both down so all we wanted was sun, beach, good food & limitless reading time. I literally wanted the holiday to re-charge my batteries and that’s exactly what I did. I also came to a conclusion about myself……
After a rollercoaster of a conversation with my mom I realised that facing your flaws isn’t as scary or self-destructive as I thought. Confronting your flaws my seem scary and I’m not going to sell you a might want to shout, cry or hide in the darkest corner of the longest room you can possibly find but something else happens too. You simply grow, how I can best way I can illustrate this is by reminding you of that seen in the film The grinch, yup I was the grinch (gotta love that film), my heart expanded, knowcked me off my feet and had me thinking and later acting in ways I never thought I would again. Through facing apart of myself that wasn’t very pleasant I realised that trusting people is okay, don’t get me wrong it will hurt and it may even break you a little but buy using golden glue and giving yourself time to heal you can turn that pain into something beautiful.
So, I read somewhere that somewhere in the world (excuse my ignorance) that they fix broken pottery with liquid gold and remember that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken. This prompted me to think about the situations that have broken me …had I fixed myself with liquid gold? A year or so ago I would have said no but now, after this holiday, deep self examination and awareness I can honestly say yes. Even though you can see my cracks, I’m okay with that I’m okay with you knowing I used to be broken but I hope that you can look at me and think isn’t the repair of a broken thing beautiful.
What defines beauty?
According to the dictionary (app of course) the 5th efinition down is: An individually pleasing or beautiful quality; grace; charm: a vivid blue area that is the one real beauty of the painting. So, beauty is one single thing about us that makes you look twice. It does not have to be physical it does not have to be by somebody else’s standard but by your own standards. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, beauty is yours to define.
This could be a whole debate, I could literally go on for hours debating beauty and it’s many contexts. But for now I will let you face your flaws, heal from them & flaunt your golden crafted cracks.
P.s the featured picture for this post was when we’re above the clouds OMG!!
Peace and love warriors