Perception of self – My purpose 

Hey Queens and of course kings, 

First of all sorry this ones late, no I’m nota out go MIA. It has been my moms birthday and we had celebrations and I’ve just been focusing on that but we back yo! So this weeks post is about purpose, our purpose can come in different shapes and sizes during different seasons of our lives. I believe purpose has two strands to it:

1. Our main purpose (God given).

2. How we practice it in the world, for example through a job or in my case a social change movement.

1. Our main purpose (God given) …

Now as a born again developing Christian I have to make you sure that you know (if you are born again) that our purpose is to spread the word of God and to encourage and inspire non-believers to turn to Christianity and seek a relationship with God #godsarmy. In the second epistle of Paul the apostle to the Corinthians he states ’20Now then, we are embassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on christ’s behalf be reconciled with God.’ 2Cor 5:20. So in order to fulfil our God given purpose of spreading the word we must really submit ourselves to God, which is something I believe helps us to become reconciled with God. Submitting to God 100% is not an easy task to do, I will be honest here and say submission is something I struggle with but I will always keep on trying and be sincere in doing so. Now you’re asking but how do I submit? This something that your church should help you with and if you don’t have one then please try to find one. I did not have a home church for a while and didn’t think I needed one but believe me since I’ve had one my growth game has been on point. 

Let’s say you don’t have a church or maybe do not feel as though you can approach anyone at church for number of reasons (that might be a sign to find a new church). We are going to start with the basics the 10 commandments! Open your bible and study them, keep in the mindset of I will shape my new life around them and not I will keep my old life but maybe ecourporate one or two. This will encourage you to go through your life with a fine toothed comb, you will want to change what you take in from the world and also what you put out. Those around you, yourself and most importantly God will start to see those changes and will love them. Although there will be some people in your life that mock you, not like the new change and/or start to distance themselves from you, just remind yourself why you are doing it. Let them talk, let them mock and be confident in the child of God your are becoming. In regards to the distancing themselves from you this can be very hard because it could be anyone from family members and childhood friends to colleagues, again let them but always wish them well and remember God may be bringing them out of your life in order to make room for you to work on his behalf or to bring blessings. You will also see more tests come your way because the devil will start to panic and throw things at you that he thinks will make you stumble and sometimes they won’t be in plain sight the will be disguised as what you desire or even dressed up in Christianity. Pray, seek scripture and guidance from the Holy Spirit/ mentors at your church. Now let’s move onto point two….

2.How to practice it int the world….

Life keeps on moving and eventhough God lets us have free will there will always be opportunities to fulfil your God given purpose. It could be through a career choice like becoming a writer, therapist, teacher, nurse, pastor, social worker and it could also be through social situations like a simple conversations, a work do or a trip to the shop. To help you understand I haven two examples of how I feel I am fufiling my God given purpose. The first is through ‘it’s her melanin’ I created ‘it’/ her melanin’ in order to support the positive mental health issues of women using Gods word in order to help tackle those issues, I want spread the word of God as a testimony against any mental health problems that devil throws our way. The second example is a charity run I did, on the day I was feeling very low and became very anxious about doing the race but in the bible it says to be selfless, charitable and seek justice thus me in both examples fulfilling my god given purpose. Both of which stem from things I enjoy or talents God has given me.

End point….

God gives us one purpose and many gifts that he knows will enable us to fulfil our purpose but he also gives us the freedom of free will. Unfortunately some of use this free will to go against God completely but it is up to us as Christians to help those who do so to refrain from sin and seek a relationship with God and fulfil their purpose.
Peace and light 

TishaJayy xxx


Perception of self – forgiveness 

Hey Queens and Kings, 

I’m back again as promised with another post and this week as there have been tensions around the world between black communities and the police I thought the topic of forgiveness was what we needed. Too often we are guilty of stunting our own progression in Christ and in the world with our stubbornness when it comes to forgiveness. How many of you have taken years to forgive yourself or others ? And then as soon as you do it you are kicking yourself for not doing the deed sooner. When it comes to others, forgiving them can be so hard mainly because we put so much faith in them and not God that when their human nature shows up in the form of hurt we try and feel some time of way. If you don’t practice the amazing gift of forgiveness you have no right to feel some type of way. 

Forgiving ourselves

This comes to mind with myself, especially being fairly early on in my faith. As you are developing and studying Christianity you start to want to change certain habits and traditions you take part in that are of the world. This can be anything from changing what you consume from social media to personal issues, once you strive to change them they become even harder to filter out/resist. This can make you start to become unhappy because you feel as though you do not see any progression whilst internally battling so hard, this is when I turn to my bible and look for reassurance that I’m capable of forgiving myself and I’m on the right tracks. Ephesians 1:7-9 says:  “7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace. 8which he made abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, 9having made known to us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he purposed in himself.”. These verses come from letters the apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesians who were faithful to Jesus, do you see where I am goin with this? Just because you are a Christian and want to be faithful to God does not mean you will not sin. God only wants progression not perfection, Jesus was perfect and thus he was the only priceless gift that could pay for our sins meaning we cannot compare to perfection by his standards. To summarise my point about forgiving ourselves, God believed in us that much that he sent his only son to suffer, so how dare we not forgive ourselves if God can. This leads into my next subheading…

-also see John 1:9

Forgiving others

Now we all know when someone has done something to us that is wrong our bruised pride stops our forgiveness from pouring onto them. Let me reassure you that the energy you take up not forgiving someone and feeling bitter towards them could be put to better use. God forgave the Isrealites countless times eventhough they were hard of hearing and ungrateful. The accounts in Exodus made me understand how Gods grace works and so taught me how my forgiveness should easily be given, without having the condition of personal gain. God forgave them countless times regardless of the doubts they had in him eventhough he provided what they NEEDED all the time. Sometimes God brings hurt in order for us to learn and evolve into who he created us to be, God will never bring a storm that lasts forever, it is either a lesson or a blessing. A couple of bible references come to mind when forgiving others: the first is in Matthew 6:12 (the model prayer, our father): 12 and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”.  This verse highlights the fact that if we refuse to forgive those who do us wrong how do we expect God to forgive us. The second verse is in Matthew 18:22 (the parable of the forgivng servant): 21 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”. So dont be silly and on the 490th time of forgiving someone say “well that’s it!”, this parable is used to say be limitless with your forgiveness like our God. 

– please read the parable to get the full juice from my point. (Mathew 21)
The rewards

It’s simple, in taking on the character traits of God we become more and more like the person he designed us to be. Though if we do not try to take on these traits our growth will either be minimal or cease all together. I know, I know you’re think but “Tisha this person did this and that”, I’m sorry but you have to really submit yourself and realise the bigger picture and decide on whether you want to please the Lord you claim to follow.

I hope this post has given you a starting point on how to practice eforgiveness Gods way.please stay safe and keep all of the protests peaceful.

Peace and love TishaJayy xx

Perception of self – Identity in christ.

Hey Queens and Kings,

So if you saw the last post you will know that this month here at ‘It’s her Melanin’ is Perception of self month but before we get started on that topic I want us to open with a prayer. As you should have seen the killings of black lives in the USA is something that is on the rise and there seems to be a no justice as an outcome…

Lord, I pray that as we go through such times as these that we are reminded of how we as christians are to seek out justice and peace. I pray that the families directly involved and us as a people are able to be strong and still show love and compassion, that we do not let our anger and fear mask how the holy spirit is trying to lead us, that we continue to find comfort in the scriptures and are able to use them as guidance when we are unsure on what to do next. Lord put your hand upon this world and show us how we are meant to treat each other in the way that you unconditionally love us. Amen

It is so important that we come together and stand up for what we believe in and that we use smart tactics to create a healthy dialogue between them and us in order to become we.

Perception of self

As you know ‘It’s her Melanin’ is aimed at young girls and women, so this will be who I am addressing in this post but that does not mean if you are a young boy or man you should stop reading. Let’s begin…  Young girls and women how you perceive yourself (below your faith) can determine how you live your life and sets the foundation for your adult life. So many factors play a huge part of how we perceive ourselves as women including physical appearance.

Is it the media’s fault?

The media tells us that we are objects for consumption and that we should look a certain way. Allowing women to be stereotyped as only having value If they meet westernised beauty standard of being female. This usually includes having fair skin but not too pale, clear skin, long hair but not too long, curves but in the ‘right’ places, tall but not too tall, natural beauty but wear make-up etc thus creating an ‘illusion’ of what beauty actually is. Do you get my point? the list of things I just said put too much pressure and high expectations on young girls and women. This can develop negative mental health issues which in some cases could have been avoided. Personally my own physical perception of myself was something that I did not struggle with until the last few years, I was finishing University and felt like ‘Tisha the student’ had to become ‘Tisha the adult’ but that still did not help me with who I was. If anything it made things worse and I started to feel lost thinking that the way I looked had an impact on who I was, Bearing in mind this was before I was born again. Questions that started to arise were:

  • Who am I?
  • What do I actually stand for?
  • Where do I begin to find myself?
  • How can I change the way I look in order to have a better perception of myself?

Identity in christ! 

After being baptised and as I continue to study scripture I gain new heights of confidence in my physical appearance that are not boastful or showy but are ‘I may look in the mirror and want to change what I see but God has made me exactly how I’m meant to be’ which allows me the freedom to be comfortable with who I am as long as it is in line with what/who Christ wants me to be. Scripture that helps me with my perception of who I was, the way I look and claiming my identity in christ are:

Genesis 1:27- ’27 God created man is his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.’

Jeremiah 1:5 – ‘5 Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;…’

Colossians 3:1-3 – ‘1 Since then, you have been raised with Christ, 2 set your hearts on things above, not earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is know hidden with Christ in God.’

These verses have different stories/explanations behind them but still give me comfort and reassurance in this metaphorical journey I am at the start of. They along with other study points have helped me to be active in perusing the plan has for me. Just so we are clear it did not happen over night and I sometimes stumble but now I feel more equipped to handle the stumbling blocks. A mentor at my church said “God is the ultimate standard, Christ is our connection to God, the spirit is our guidance and the bible is a testimony and handbook for us to follow and bear witness to”.


I really hope this will help with anyone who is struggling with who they are and that finding your identity in Christ will be something that you pursue. I would also like to end on the fact this is something that I have taken from my own study sessions and you may come across something different which is ok.

Peace and light

TishaJayy xx